Distrust is usually the special guest in many couples. It lives in silence and disguises itself in many ways. From aggression to silent pain that turns into spite. Most of the time it has to do with situations from the past or childhood that have marked us and affected our self-esteem.
If you want to know if you are having real mistrust problems, check the following list:
1. Permanent fear of losing your partner
2. Sleep problems, especially with your partner in mind
3. Attention permanently placed on the partner and lack of attention towards the personal matters
4. Mood swings and irritability
5. Frequent discussions with the partner
6. Exhaustion and muscle tension
7. Tension headache
8. Desire to check their phone and social media
9. Tendency to isolation
10. Permanent doubts
11. Creating silent stories when there are changes in routines
12. Substance use
13. Propensity to infidelity
Some of the main causes of mistrust in a relationship are lies, jealousy or infidelity at some point in the relationship. However, most of the time the root of the problem is deeper and, as we have already mentioned, it has to do with situations experienced in childhood.
When it comes to infidelity, which is discovered, the cheated person will completely lose confidence in their partner.
Distrust is related to fear, generated by having lived many situations in which they failed, which leads to loss of self-esteem.
Distrust blinds the person who suffers from it, it does not allow them to put themselves in the other’s shoes, it takes away the necessary empathy to understand the motivations or feelings of their peers. It is simply impossible to believe in others.
This feeling is like a silent disease, many times when it begins and we cannot even perceive it, but it spreads and becomes invasive very soon. Distrust is one of those factors that, if not addressed and healed in time, manages to deteriorate the bond and take it to its minimum expression, destroying it and beyond, leading the person to a drain of loneliness and fear.
Trust is learned, mistrust too. It is not a natural feeling, it is like the fruit that comes from experience. Regardless of past experiences, it is a serious issue that needs to be addressed and resolved in order to build a bond in which the person feels comfortable, safe and protected. When we get involved with someone in a sentimental way, we need to feel safe with that person, to have guarantees that this relationship has a stable future, but when we do not achieve this emotional stability, we are prey to anxiety.
As insecurity and mistrust gain ground, the mental and emotional wear and tear also begin to become much greater, which inevitably affects the quality of life of those affected by these negative feelings.
Unwanted thoughts that do not allow us to focus properly on our daily activities, lack of desire to do our things, need to be checking that everything in the relationship is okay, these are some of the ways in which mistrust damages relationships and the individual quality of life of people.
CAUSES OF DISTRUST IN COUPLES
1. Infidelities when one of the two had a slip, and although the situation seems to be fixed there are wounds that do not heal completely.
2. Personal insecurity a person with insecurities usually thinks that they are not worthy of love or the person who is by their side.
3. Monotony the stage of infatuation and the intensity of passion yield with time; Thus, the relationship can fall into a routine and diminish interest in one of them.
4. Sexual problems if there are problems in this area, it may be interpreted as a lack of desire.
5. Lack of commitment just the fact that one of the two appears immature and shows little commitment in strengthening the relationship can also generate trust problems.
6. Childhood history having been betrayed many times during your childhood makes you lose the possibility of believing in others and this is repeated in each of the couples with whom you live. It is as if this person has passed the collection account of the past.
Once mistrust is installed in a relationship, it is not easy to make it disappear. However, it is not impossible either, what it does require is a lot of work, professional support, perseverance and the desire to achieve it. If your peace of mind is being affected by mistrust in your partner, perhaps it is time to consult a professional. https://www.rociolifecoach.com/